“you’re so strong”, they say
as if I had a choice
as if there was any alternative.
you taught me to be strong,
and you were the strongest man I know.
you were my first best friend,
my truest friend
you got me when no one else did
a perk I guess of sharing some of the same DNA
you taught me how to properly dunk mini donuts into a glass of milk
tried to teach me to play the keyboard,
but I was too impatient to learn.
you taught me to be gracious
told me that I was capable of the world and so much more
I learned to appreciate sports from you
learned to carry an intelligent conversation
how to make people laugh.
I inherited your stubbornness
the tendency to work too much.
I’m certain that my love of true crime came from you
and I will miss watching our “murder mysteries” together
because of you I’ve never felt short,
even though I’m the tiniest person in the family
confident in every step I take, head up because your daughter would never, could never, won’t ever walk with her head bowed down
you passed on your fierce pride,
along with your quick and ferocious temper
I think of you constantly,
pushing my sadness aside because it does not bode well to dwell on tragedy
I hope to make you proud one day, if the human soul exists
if your human soul is somewhere out there
I hope that wherever you are, you smile and say
“you see that strong and accomplished woman? that’s my baby girl, my Caker Boo.”
I love you, Dad.