Tag Archives: Christmas

Season One, Episode Eighteen: Migraines and Monochromatic Mayhem

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Mondays.

So boring.

I feel bad for the poor day, however.  It’s not like it asked to be boring and dull and ho-hum.  It’s the monochromatic sibling in a family of neons and pastels.  No one wakes up on a Monday morning and jumps happily out of bed and chirps “Yay, it’s Monday!  I can’t wait for the day of neverending work and monotony ahead of me to begin!”  You think of Monday and you think, Crap, I have work.  All week long.  You think Monday, you automatically start to yawn because there is just something inherently tiring about Mondays.  Monday is not known for being a day of festivity and glee.  Nay.  Monday wanted to be cool, but instead Monday wears clunky glasses and ill-fitting sweater jackets.  Monday is Friday and Saturday’s nerdy older sister who would rather stay home and memorize the Periodic Table instead of go to the club and hook up with some greasy, over-tanned and over-muscled guy named Tony who wears waaay too much gel in his hair.  Monday is a day of general blah-itivity.  Monday is the Karen in the room (cool points if you caught the Dane Cook reference).

So…not only was it a droll and blah kind of Monday, it was a Monday after a three day weekend, one of those Mondays that you dread, especially when Christmas came the day before and you’re still kind of full of Yuletide spirit.  I really was not looking forward to today because I wasn’t really in the mood to go to work and do workish stuff, but to make things worse, I had a ridiculous migraine all day long.  My head was hurting when I went to sleep last night, but I figured it’d be gone by morning.  Wrong.  Not only was my head screaming when I got up, but I also had an upset stomach.  Faaaabulous.  I felt like I was completely hungover all day long, which wasn’t even fair because I haven’t touched alcohol in weeks.  The phones were obnoxious at work, and I took a few ibuprofen and chased it with Mountain Dew to try to soothe the ferocious brain beast.  I’m feeling a lot better, but my head is still kind of achy.

I just scrolled down my screen in my little composition work area and couldn’t help but notice the tags that WordPress suggested that have absolutely nothing to do with what I just wrote.  I’ll share a few with you:

Um…okay.  Did any of you guys see anything that would remotely correspond to any of those tags in the first few lines of today’s post?  No?  Me neither.  I just Googled this Louis C.K. fellow and apparently he’s a comedian.  Okay…I can see how broadly he fits into the grand scheme of tagging things, but I’m still a little confused by the other suggestions.  Whatever.  I’m thinking maybe a certain blogging platform had too much non-virgin eggnog on Christmas morning.  And on Kwanzaa/Boxing Day.

Speaking of holiday festivity and joy, I am wearing one of the new sweaters my mom and dad got me for Christmas.  It’s comfy, it’s warm, and I like it.  Especially because it’s all belted and business below my rack and ’80s prom dress above.  It’s got that weird shoulder thing going on…I’ll find a pic to show you.

Sorta like this, only as a sweater, and not white or ruffly at the top. Sorta hideous, I suppose, but super comfy and awkward. Yes!

I feel like Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink, only cuter.  I was messing with the shoulders all day to look like I really should have been at some kid’s Senior Prom, circa 1986 instead of at a Ford dealership, answering phones and informing people that our parts and service departments were closed due to the holiday.  Too bad my hair was in a ponytail and I didn’t have a particularly gaudy corsage on hand, because I would have looked pretty damn awesome at that receptionist window.

Next time, next time.

Season One, Episode Sixteen: Christmas Magic and Reddit Madness

Posted in Culture, Random, Society, Uncategorized by

Merry Christmas!!! I hope Santa was good to all of you…I guess Santa did not read my blog in time, because Alex O’Loughlin was not under my tree. Damn. Oh well, there’s always next year, hahaha.

Merry Christmas 🙂

And holy Reddit, Batman!!! I signed up for Reddit last night and posted the link to this little gem of blog fabulosity. I currently have gotten 98 hits in the past 24 hours. Um, that is pretty splendid. And to all the people who have followed the link here to Chasing Lala, I say thank you and if you like what you see, please follow by email or click the sweet little Facebook “like” button on the right side of this blog to head on over to the Chasing Lala Facebook page. I appreciate you checking my blog out, and feel free to come back again!

In the light of today being Christmas, I figured I’d share some little holiday factoids with y’all, courtesy of Random Facts:

  • In A.D. 320, Pope Julius I, bishop of Rome, proclaimed December 25 the official celebration date for the birthday of Christ.
  • Christmas trees have been sold in the U.S. since 1850.
  • In Poland, spiders or spider webs are common Christmas trees decorations because according to legend, a spider wove a blanket for Baby Jesus. In fact, Polish people consider spiders to be symbols of goodness and prosperity at Christmas.
  • Christmas wasn’t declared an official holiday in the United States until June 26, 1870.
  • Alabama was the first state in the United States to officially recognize Christmas in 1836. Oklahoma was the last U.S. state to declare Christmas a legal holiday, in 1907.
  • Because they viewed Christmas as a decadent Catholic holiday, the Puritans in America banned all Christmas celebrations from 1659-1681 with a penalty of five shillings for each offense. Some Puritan leaders condemned those who favored Christmas as enemies of the Christian religion.
  • Christmas has its roots in pagan festivals such as Saturnalia (December 17-December 23), the Kalends (January 1 -5, the precursor to the Twelve Days of Christmas), and Deus Sol Invictus or Birthday of the Unconquerable Sun (December 25). The Christians church heartily disapproved of such celebrations and co-opted the pagans by declaring December 25 as Christ’s day of birth, though there is no evidence Christ was born on that day.
  • Santa Claus is based on a real person, St. Nikolas of Myra (also known as Nikolaos the Wonderworker, Bishop Saint Nicholas of Smyrna, and Nikolaos of Bari), who lived during the fourth century. Born in Patara (in modern-day Turkey), he is the world’s most popular non-Biblical saint, and artists have portrayed him more often than any other saint except Mary. He is the patron saint of banking, pawnbroking, pirating, butchery, sailing, thievery, orphans, royalty, and New York City.

Merry Christmas ❤ Here’s a little Josh Groban for you all to enjoy 🙂

 

Season One, Episode Fifteen: A Very Lala Christmas Eve

Posted in Comedy, Culture, Humor, Random by

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Christmas Eve, 2011.

My house smells like hot chocolate and s’mores, thanks to the amazing candles I bought from Bath and Body yesterday at the mall.  My dad is watching TV, and getting frustrated that the only thing on TV is The Sound of Music and It’s A Wonderful Life.  My mom and Nicky are at my grandma’s house, celebrating Christmas Eve.  I just got back from Mass, church was packed, and I’m still not in the Christmas spirit.

There’s still no snow on the ground, although it is reallllly cold out.

I’m pretty bored.  I’m still dressed from Mass, I smell fabulous and look fabulous, thanks to the Atelier cologne sample I got from Birchbox (Ambre Nue), the new foundation I just bought (philosophy The Supernatural), and my rockin’ new eyeshadow from Stila (It Girl Palette #2).  I’m all for looking awesome while I blog to all my lovelies 🙂  Speaking of lovelies, I’d like to thank all the readers who came over to scope out my fab post on Alex O’Loughlin.  You guys rock!  Thanks for the unexpected hits and I hope you guys come back to read more excellence.  Increased page activity is always a great Christmas present!

I just scoped out the NORAD Santa Tracker on my iPhone, courtesy of Google Maps, and it appears that the Big Guy is currently in Tarrafal, Cape Verde.  I guess it’s time for me to start preparing the plate of Chips Ahoy and glass of milk.  And since he is probably hours from Ohio, I suppose I should remind Santa that Alex would be a nice little present to find beneath my tree tomorrow morning…and maybe this makeup collection from Chanel.  Just sayin’, Santa.

I’ll provide Santa with some visual aids, just in case he missed yesterday’s post.

Alex O’Loughlin:

Come on Santa...You could put one of those huge bows that they put on new cars on him and nothing else...well...maybe shorts because Nicky will be there, hahaha.

Chanel makeup:

So Santa, just go to the Chanel website, click "makeup" and then select this collection. Scroll on down and decide what you think would be best for me. I'm leaning toward the blush and the hot pink lipstick.

Season One, Episode Fourteen: Santa Baby

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So…Christmas is in a few short days, and I totally just realized that I didn’t send out my Christmas list to Santa Claus.

Well, shit.

…I hope Santa reads blogs!!!

Dear Santa,

I have been a reaaaaallllly reaaaaaallly good girl this year.  Seriously.  I refrained from any mischief, shenanigans, poppycock, and/or tomfoolery all year long.  I was thinking that since I’ve been such an awful good girl that it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle if you were to try to get me a few of the things I have compiled in my short list below.  You can skip around and get what you think is best, but I’m really more or less partial to number one and number five.  To prevent confusion, I’ve added pictures for quick and easy referencing.  Thanks Santa!

Love,

Lashawn

L. Diddy’s Fabulous List of Christmas Excellence (The 2011 Edition):

1.  Alex O’Loughlin.

Umm...yum, Santa.

2.  A little something from Tiffany.

I'm not even saying it has to be this, Santa. I'm just giving you a general idea of what I have in mind...

3.  Perry the Platypus.  How friggin’ cool would he be???

4.  An iPad 2.

I want one of these sooo bad. They are super fantabulous.

5.  Alex O’Loughlin.

...Sorry, I was drooling. Oh my goodness.

Season One, Episode Twelve: Of Michael Bolton, Consumerism, and Christmas Spirit (or the Lack Thereof)

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I’m not exactly in the Christmas spirit this year, and I’m not exactly sure why.  Our tree is up and decorated, my shopping is all done, and my mom is rocking out to Michael Bolton singing Christmastastic magic, circa 1995 (when he still had the luxurious flowing mane).  MB alone should have me sitting near the fireplace, anxiously awaiting Santa and his bag of gifty awesomeness.

In my house, Michael Bolton and Christmas go together like peanut butter and chocolate.

 But, alas, I am not excited for the big guy or Christmas in general.  Siiiiiighhh.

I’m thinking it might be because it’s too warm for snow, so there won’t be a white Christmas…and maybe because all it’s really done all year is rain, rain, rain and I’m just depressed that we’ve had a rainy December.  A soggy, muddy Christmas is not exactly the stuff of Christmas classics (“I’m dreaming of a muddy Christmas” just doesn’t have the same ring to it).  Maybe it’s because Corporate America has been shoving Christmas down our throats since right around Halloween.  I think I may have actually rolled my eyes at the juxtaposition of Halloween decorations and Christmas crap thrown together at Target–because, you know, we all love to have our bloody skulls wearing Santa hats.  It adds that extra bit of undead class, you know?  It also may have been the Christmas music playing 24/7 on two radio stations since the week before Thanksgiving–and I’m guessing Thanksgiving will soon be known as Black Friday Eve.  We don’t even really dwell on the meaning of the holidays anymore.  It’s just consumerism.

I know I sound like a Scrooge, but maybe we just need Linus Van Pelt to remind us what Christmas is all about.  Maybe then I’ll get in the Christmas spirit.  Preach it, Linus:

Season One, Episode Eleven: The Ravages of Time Are Knocking Upon My Door

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My birthday was this past Saturday. I am officially 26…and looking at what I just wrote, who the hell in their right mind would want to be unofficially 26? Perhaps a crazy person…yes, only a crazy person would want to go from 25 (which we all know is a whole ‘nother ballgame) and pretend to be 26. The only way I would do it is if there was a large monetary compensation, or something equally awesome.

Like, I don’t know, maybe this badass pegasus.

I’d consider it then.

But seriously, I’m 26. Four more years to 30. Ouch. I suppose 26 is a grand achievement. If I lived in the 1600s, like in Jamestown or whatever, I’d have like ten years left in my life before I died a horrible death from cholera or smallpox. I’d have 54516561 kids by now, all named after virtues and kings and whatever, married to a guy named James Blacksmitherson and living in a leaky shack shittily constructed out of logs and mud and no windows. I’d be all about sewing and hanging out with my equally fabulous friends, Rebecca and Prudence. We’d have the best gray bonnets in the entire village. The bitches would be jealous.

Oh yes. They would be jealous.

But anyway. Christmas is coming. Tres exciting, no? I am proud to announce that I finished my shopping for Nicky an entire week ahead of schedule. I usually am rushing around on the 23rd, hating myself for waiting until the last minute. This year, I finished on the 16th. I think that warrants a high five…so I totally just gave myself one. (I usually do this so that I am not left hanging, by well, myself. Denying someone a high five is such an asshole move, and I am not an asshole.) Perhaps this early shoppage is a part of turning 26? Perhaps.

Or I just remembered to do it early this year.

My god…I think I might just be growing up.