Season Four, Episode Seven: Panic In Real Time

So I have been talking to a boy–wait, yes, I know that is rather exciting and all that, we will go into that later–that I like for almost the past two months and things have been flirty with a sprinkling of sexy…with the occasional stumble into awkwardness (I would be the one doing the stumbling, of course).  But it has been good.  He’s hot and funny and into me and so hot, but mixed signals abound (because they seem like they always do–yet another post to unravel that mystery) and it doesn’t help that I have this weird combination of distrust and fear and impatience when it comes to all this boy meets girl shit.

Anyway, I texted said guy (I have not come up with a nom de plume for him yet) this afternoon, a breezy and flirty text that was not replied to at all for hours.  I got irritated and decided against my better judgement to compose another text about five hours later to send him regarding the first text.  This is the panic that ensued, captured in live time in a Facebook Messenger conversation with one of my best friends:

Me (7:02 pm):  So…there’s that moment when you’re trying to come up with a text and it’s what you are thinking but not wanting to send…AND THEN YOU ACCIDENTALLY HIT SEND.

(7:02 pm):

So.  Much.  Panic.

Michelle (7:04 pm):  Oh no!!!!

Me (7:05 pm):  Oh no indeed!!!

(7:06 pm):  And you want to text back immediately bc you are embarrassed and mortified but you decide that entertaining an embarrassed apology or explanation would make you look crazy.

(7:06 pm):  And if said recipient of text had responded hours earlier, I wouldn’t have accidentally sent a rough draft text.

(7:08 pm):  So now I sit here feeling like an idiot and not replying bc I’m going to act like “yup, I sent that”.

(7:08 pm):

I'm with you there, Ron.

Michelle (7:08 pm):  Oh man.  That is sucky.

(I’m guessing my panic is amusing because I’m sure it’s not really a big deal but it so is.)

Me (7:09 pm):  And the silence.

(7:09 pm):  It makes things worse bc I want to fall into a vicious cycle of word vomit to try to explain my way out of the text but that will only back me further into the corner like a lioness.

(I am pretty bummed that I could not find a witty GIF of a lioness backed into a corner.)

Michelle (7:10 pm):  Yeahhhh don’t do that then you’re just gonna look like you’re talking to yourself.

Me (7:11 pm):  Right.  I don’t want to look crazy.

(7:11 pm):  And I’m like “this is why I’m alone, I’m crazy”.

 

So he still hasn’t replied and he probably thinks I’m insane.  Hopefully he finds my crazy endearing.  Ugh.  I’m seriously going to die an old spinster woman who can’t knit or embroider and who is allergic to cats.

At least I’ll always have you, Netflix.  You get me.

You always know me better than everyone else.

You always know me better than everyone else.

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Season One, Episode Twenty-Three: Breaking It Down Semi-Glee Style

So if you’ve been reading my blog lately, you will have seen the love/hate relationship I have with a certain Lana Del Rey.  I can’t stand her voice and I think she’s a particularly shitty singer (Google her SNL performance and you’ll get what I mean), and yet I can’t stop listening to her stuff.  She’s definitely a guilty pleasure that I really would feel uncomfortable sharing in the presence of other people. Which brings me to my delightful Chasing Lala Facebook page question of the day:

I got twelve songs from my fabulous followers to create an awkward guilty pleasure playlist, and with the aid of Playlist.com, I created a fully listenable mix for you to crank up in solitary pleasure.  I’ll list the songs below 🙂

Awkward Guilty Pleasure Playlist:

1.  “Video Games”, Lana Del Rey

The song that started it all.

2.  “Control”, Missy Elliot featuring Ciara

DeLaina says:  Haha uh probably Missy Elliot’s Control. (You know the one ft Ciara)  I haven’t heard it in a while but if I did, I would blast it.  As long as I was alone.  Lmao.

3.  “Pumped Up Kicks”, Foster The People

Christina says:  Pumped Up Kicks by Foster The People.  That song is awful and yet I love it.

4.  “Candy”, Mandy Moore

I said:  Mine is “Candy” by Mandy Moore.  I love that song, but I will never openly admit it.

5.  “MMMBop”, Hanson

LeAnn says:  Mmm bop by Hanson.  It takes me back to my childhood, but I would be embarrassed to rock out to it with people around, lol.

6.  “Control”, Janet Jackson

Cressie says:  Control…Janet Jackson…93.1 Michael Baisdens like obsessed with her lol.

7.  “Toxic”, Britney Spears

Jennifer says:  Uhmmm ok I will admit it I have one guilty pleasure song and I can’t figure out why because I don’t like her music–Britney Spears’ “Toxic”.

8.  “Hips Don’t Lie”, Shakira

Jessica says:  Hips Don’t Lie by Shakira.  Hahaha!  That’s my workout song that I only listen to alone.

9.  “Sexy And I Know It”, LMFAO

Allison chose this song.

10.  “Safety Dance”, Men Without Hats

Brad chose this song.

11.  “I’m the Only One”, Melissa Etheridge

and

12.  “Let Her Cry”, Hootie and the Blowfish

Hannah says:  Without a shadow of a doubt…”I’m the Only One” by Melissa Etheridge, and “Let Her Cry” by Hootie.  Two nights ago, I actually sat in the Staples parking lot for 3 minutes while listening to the latter, there was no way I was getting out of my car with that gem on the radio!

Enjoy 🙂

(If for some reason the player doesn’t load, just click “pop-out player” and the player will load in another tab.)

Season One, Episode Twenty-One: Pursuing That Next Chapter

“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.”

How true.  I’ve been through a tumult of changes over the past few weeks that I hope will lead to a better, brighter Lashawn.  I’m feeling pretty introspective and energized 🙂

First off, I lost my job Saturday.  It is what it is, I’m not going to go into specifics as to who, what, when, where, why, and/or how.  I just think it’s pretty cathartic to be gone from the dealership because I was honestly miserable there and I feel so much better now that I’m, for lack of a better description, free.  I feel amazing.  I’m sure I really shouldn’t, since I no longer have a regular paycheck or whatever, but I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders.  It’s been a long time since I felt legitimately happy…no more migraines, no more popping ibuprofen just to get through my work day, no more sick feeling in my stomach…It’s great.  I already applied for unemployment and filed my taxes, so I’ll be okay financially for a while.

Which leads me to another broken string no longer holding me down to a miserable world.

Another reason I’m not exactly freaking out about my current lack of employment is that I sorta have something to fall back on.  They’re opening a casino here in Cleveland in a few months, and I applied to be a dealer…I made it through my interview and orientation, and now I’m in the gaming academy to become a blackjack dealer.  It’s a pretty cool process, and I’ve learned a lot since early December and have met some really awesome people along the way.  I did my audition last night, and apart from a few minor snags, I don’t see myself not doing well.  I find out how I did tomorrow, and I’m slightly nervous, but I figure that if this doesn’t work out, I’ll figure something else out.  I think this job would open so many doors for me, and it will honestly be the start of a better life for me and Nicky.

I’m also going to take this newfound free time and use it to spend with Nicky and my friends and a few of those amazing people that I’ve met along the way down the road less travelled.  I also think I’m going to try to attempt some of the things that I wanted to do while I was working at the dealership, but was unable to do due to my work schedule.  You can’t really accomplish too much when you work in the middle of the day during the week and all day on the weekends with one day off.  It was rough, so I’m gonna view this as a vacation of sorts and enjoy myself!

Season One, Episode Sixteen: Christmas Magic and Reddit Madness

Merry Christmas!!! I hope Santa was good to all of you…I guess Santa did not read my blog in time, because Alex O’Loughlin was not under my tree. Damn. Oh well, there’s always next year, hahaha.

Merry Christmas 🙂

And holy Reddit, Batman!!! I signed up for Reddit last night and posted the link to this little gem of blog fabulosity. I currently have gotten 98 hits in the past 24 hours. Um, that is pretty splendid. And to all the people who have followed the link here to Chasing Lala, I say thank you and if you like what you see, please follow by email or click the sweet little Facebook “like” button on the right side of this blog to head on over to the Chasing Lala Facebook page. I appreciate you checking my blog out, and feel free to come back again!

In the light of today being Christmas, I figured I’d share some little holiday factoids with y’all, courtesy of Random Facts:

  • In A.D. 320, Pope Julius I, bishop of Rome, proclaimed December 25 the official celebration date for the birthday of Christ.
  • Christmas trees have been sold in the U.S. since 1850.
  • In Poland, spiders or spider webs are common Christmas trees decorations because according to legend, a spider wove a blanket for Baby Jesus. In fact, Polish people consider spiders to be symbols of goodness and prosperity at Christmas.
  • Christmas wasn’t declared an official holiday in the United States until June 26, 1870.
  • Alabama was the first state in the United States to officially recognize Christmas in 1836. Oklahoma was the last U.S. state to declare Christmas a legal holiday, in 1907.
  • Because they viewed Christmas as a decadent Catholic holiday, the Puritans in America banned all Christmas celebrations from 1659-1681 with a penalty of five shillings for each offense. Some Puritan leaders condemned those who favored Christmas as enemies of the Christian religion.
  • Christmas has its roots in pagan festivals such as Saturnalia (December 17-December 23), the Kalends (January 1 -5, the precursor to the Twelve Days of Christmas), and Deus Sol Invictus or Birthday of the Unconquerable Sun (December 25). The Christians church heartily disapproved of such celebrations and co-opted the pagans by declaring December 25 as Christ’s day of birth, though there is no evidence Christ was born on that day.
  • Santa Claus is based on a real person, St. Nikolas of Myra (also known as Nikolaos the Wonderworker, Bishop Saint Nicholas of Smyrna, and Nikolaos of Bari), who lived during the fourth century. Born in Patara (in modern-day Turkey), he is the world’s most popular non-Biblical saint, and artists have portrayed him more often than any other saint except Mary. He is the patron saint of banking, pawnbroking, pirating, butchery, sailing, thievery, orphans, royalty, and New York City.

Merry Christmas ❤ Here’s a little Josh Groban for you all to enjoy 🙂

 

Season One, Episode Five: Just A Thought…

This makes me sad.

The state of Georgia executed a man tonight who most likely was innocent of the crime he was convicted, yet the biggest topic on my Facebook news feed is the new layout.  In my opinion Troy Davis outweighs Facebook’s new layout any day.

There was so much outrage on the social network when Casey Anthony was acquitted of murdering her two year old daughter based solely on reasonable doubt, yet we all knew she was guilty.  Anyone familiar with the basics of Davis’ case knows that his entire case was riddled with reasonable doubt, much like Anthony’s–no murder weapon was ever found, seven of the nine witnesses who testified against Davis recanted or changed parts or all of their testimony and claimed that they were coerced under duress, it is believed that another one of the witnesses was the actual murderer…and yet, Davis was found guilty of murder, and ultimately executed at 10:53 pm.  Where is the outrage now?  Where is the anger over the judicial system now?

It appears that any anger on my Facebook news feed is directed at the new layout, which seems to have pissed off plenty of people, excluding yours truly.  I don’t have any issues with it.  I can still do what I go on to the site to do, and if I couldn’t, well…I’d figure it out, like the last time Mark Zuckerberg changed things up.  Change happens.  Updates occur.  Big deal. You adapt and move on…because you know in a few months or a year, Facebook will change things up again.

But Troy Davis will never take another breath.  Troy Davis will never get to prove his innocence.  Troy Davis may have been wrongly executed while the real killer, believed to be Sylvester “Redd” Coles, spends the rest of his life a free man because the state of Georgia will never investigate that trail and openly admit that they may have killed the wrong person.  And the MacPhail family may never really know who killed Mark MacPhail that night at Burger King in 1989.  We may never know if Troy Davis was the one who pulled the trigger.

And that, to me at least, is more frustrating than the way my news feed shows up when I log in on Facebook.